Denver Bar Association
April 2010
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Medical Marijuana Clinic Opens in Bar Office

by Marshall Snider

Those of us in the legal profession are aware that stress comes with the job. You can’t open a professional periodical such as The Colorado Lawyer or The Docket without seeing an article that tells you how to manage stress. The advice is always the same: find enjoyable activities outside your practice; break large, daunting tasks into manageable segments; take a break to get some fresh air or listen to music; exercise; blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, does any of this really work? Your Denver Bar Association wondered the

same thing, and has concluded that the answer to stress relief may well be found in the legal use of medicinal substances.

Always striving to provide enhanced member benefits, the DBA will therefore open a medical marijuana dispensary in the bar offices on Grant Street. Conveniently located in the little used President’s Room just behind the reception area, the dispensary (which will be called the Bar Bong and Wellness Center) will offer a wide variety of herb, so that you can find just the right tonic for what ails you.

Anxious about that next appearance in Federal court? A righteous hit of Stout Street Sensimilla will calm your nerves and let you get the sleep you need before the big day. Concerned that your complaint may not survive a motion to dismiss? Try a toke or two of Civil Pro Panama Red and lay that worry to rest. Can’t find the right case to support your argument? Fire up a fatty of Shepard’s Skunkweed and dream up just the precedent you need.

As a full-service provider of member benefits, the Bar Bong and Wellness Center also will offer a complete line of smoking accessories. Roach clips displaying the DBA logo are anticipated to be a big hit (no pun intended). However, the real seller may turn out to be the digital bong that, when combined with wi-fi capability, allows you to search all of the legal resources offered by Casemaker while you write that next brief in a relaxed haze of smoke. The Bar Bong and Wellness Center also will offer stylish golf caps and T-shirts emblazoned with a large marijuana leaf superimposed over a replica of your certificate of admission to the bar.

Economically, the DBA marijuana dispensary is a win-win. All bar association weed will be supplied directly by Denver lawyers or, more likely, by their clients, thus eliminating some of the fiscal pressures that currently exist in the practice of law. Proceeds from the dispensary will go to Metro Volunteer Lawyers, though this will not eliminate the need for the Barristers Benefit Ball (which will continue to be planned by a committee smoking the popular Barrister’s Blueberry Haze).

And the really exciting news is this: in appreciation of the DBA’s efforts, Cheech and Chong have agreed to bring their new tour "In Bud We Trust, Get it Legal" to perform at the next Seniors Roast. Dude! Sweet!

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