Denver Bar Association
September 2006
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You Know You’re Married When … The Senate can’t define marriage, but The Docket can

1. You’ve traveled to the Midwest in July with your significant other.

2. You dutifully take out the garbage four times a week.

3. You watch a TV show you hate just to show your support.

4. Bathroom humor is completely accepted, especially if you have kids.

5. You share clothing.

6. You don’t laugh at each other’s jokes, and it’s OK.

7. Your dresser has two drawers filled with your significant other’s items ... even though he/she has his/her own.

8. There are 8,000 pairs of shoes or baseball hats (not yours) in the closet.

9. The family pet decides it likes your significant other better than you.

10. You do the dishes at your significant others’ parents’ house.

11. You still like the person, even when he/she doesn’t shave.

12. You tolerate your significant others’ friends — drunk or not.

13. You get "volunteered" for activities you’d never do otherwise.

14. The two of you have a code signal you use to leave awkward situations.

15. Who else but a life partner would listen to a mate practice his or her bagpipes in the living room?

16. You have wallpapered a bathroom together and are still living with each other (although you may not be speaking to each other).

17. You share each other’s Prozac.

18. You can, with impunity, answer "yes" to the question, "Do I look fat in this?"

19. Your last evening out was to see your kid’s school play.

20. Your mom calls and asks to speak to your spouse.

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